I didn’t know what I didn’t know.
I just loved you in the way I thought I was supposed to. I loved you in the way I was praised for giving love as a child- being helpful, solving problems, relieving stress, supporting emotionally...and this translated to me being a parent and resenting you for being the child.
I now know this dynamic is incredibly sexy to those who have a neglected inner-child. The over-functioner loves having the role of the parent, the under-functioner loves being the child...
I didn’t realize this isn’t a partnership.
I didn’t realize I didn’t know how to be a partner. I didn’t realize I didn’t trust my dad to take care of me. I was under the impression all men needed taking care of, so I did that, until I burnt out time and time again, resentful because I couldn’t receive the love you were trying to give me.
The little girl in me just wanted to trust her dad.
The little boy in you just wanted his mom’s love.
We both co-created a dynamic that is all too common...and often labelled as the narcissist & empath...when in truth it’s our wounds bonding.
Now I am awake. Now I see. Now I understand how to trust your masculine energy. Now I understand how to trust my feminine energy. Now I know what partnership truly can feel like...full of ease, trust, reciprocity, self-responsibility, mutual support and respect.
I invite you to look in the mirror and ask, am I truly feeling angry at him for not doing anything around the house, or am I angry with myself for taking on the “mother role” for so many years?
Want to reignite healthy sexual polarity in your partnership? What to understand and learn how to feel safe with the masculine again? Perhaps you want to dive deep into why you over-functioned in relationships...do not hesitate to reach out. I'd love to support your journey to reconnecting to self, and your inner feminine, inner masculine and inner child who needs a little extra love!